Thursday, May 1, 2008

Thai Hooker - Eric's story

So... as it turns out, the Thai "cougar" (cougar = older lady on the prowl for younger dudes) that was hitting on me and buying me soda and ice cream was actually a Thai hooker trying to drum up some business with me.... that's how they operate I guess. I mean, I don't blame her, I am pretty hot.

So Julie and Jenny were setting up an art show in Bangkok and I decided to stroll across the street to a nice park right by the river and watch the boats go by... as I'm chillin' there, this older (40's) thai woman comes and sits about 25ft from me and asks me to take her picture, which I gladly do. She introduces herself as "Deeda" and proceeds to chat it up in her broken and barely understandable English. Now my Thai is no good either so you can imagine how the conversation went. Anyway, she asked me if I was married, to which I replied "engaged".... she clearly had no clue what that meant. She then started to tell me how lonely she was and how she had no husband and how she liked me and all this stuff.

Now me, being the ego maniac that I am, just figured some old broad was trying to score with "Bruce Willis" (yeah,this cab guy said i looked like Bruce Willis... he's right). Anyway, she then began asking me to go for a walk with her and I kept refusing. At this point I began to think that, perhaps, something was not on the "up and up"... I still wasn't sure what was off. I at first thought that maybe it was some scam, or some dude was waiting on the "walk" to rob me. I didn't get paranoid, just went on heightened alert. Anyway, time passed, she kept making small talk then offered to buy me a drink..... I kept refusing but she kept insisting. I started to think I was being rude, so I finally caved. Meanwhile I'm looking for an "out".

Thank god for Julie.... right when my Thai friend left to get her Bruce Willis a drink, my cell phone rang with Julie on the other line. Good timing too b/c the thai chick kept asking me for my phone # and I kept telling her I didn't have a phone. lol. Anyway, I told Julie where I was and to come rescue me.... which she did within 5 minutes.

The first thing Julie said to me when we walked away was... "you know that's a hooker, right?". hahaha.... to that point the thought never crossed my mind. Why would a hooker buy me drinks and ice cream? Aren't I supposed to be buying her stuff? That, plus my ego, made it hard to believe... but after thinking back on various things and relaying the story to Jenny for her thoughts, she was totally a hooker.

Still, I don't blame her... I am pretty fly for a white guy.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha! What a great story! If I ever go to Thailand, I'm gonna cut my hair short like Bruce Willis and get free ice cream in the park like you!

k00p said...

ya you do look like bruce willis...except you look nothing at all like bruce.

and your thai does suck

Glad to see you guys are having fun we miss you a lot... thanks for giving me something to read when i bored at work too

FOXY said...

LOL...omg, that's so funny.